Sleepless

Don't remember when was the last time I had this sleepless thing, but tonight it's just so hard to fall asleep.. Tired but just can't sleep...
Maybe I am not used to sleep at this time anymore... Damn this is a bad sign..

I am close to her again.. WTF~
I don't have that kind of patience to listen to her anymore.. Why do I have to listen to her whenever she has a problem with him? It has nothing to do with me at all..
I feel bad for not listening, but seriously, I got quite fed up with it..

She resembles too much of her.. I know that little feeling was just a mere confusion..I am awake and I know very well that she's never the one, no matter how much similarities she has with her..

She does give me a good lesson though.. Seeing how she suffers now makes me think that I made a right choice.. If you can't resolve it, then just let it go..

The learning curve is there, waiting for me to explore, and there's someone there, waiting for me to find out.. Moving forward.. Slow but steady, picking up the pieces..

Wish that she'll find her wisdom.. If this man is worth the hassles, then may her be strong enough to face all the obstacles; If this man is not the one, wish that she has the clear eyes and stout heart to move on for a better man..

大日子

真的很佩服女人，为了爱情，为了心爱的人，
再不合逻辑的事情都干得出来。
为了他，为了这段情，
我知道你哭过，痛过，煎熬过，
虽然我们不常联络，
可听到你的哭泣，心总想能为你做些什么..

终于在一月八号，（对不起，七号）
苦尽甘来了，
也是你的大日子！！
你的喜悦，连盲的都feel到咯..

看着你们灿烂幸福的笑容，
我从心底的感动，
听着你晒命地喊道：“我愿意！！！”
顿时的笑声填满了整件注册房...
几乎连外面的人都知道你‘嫁了’哈哈

身为哥的我，
没什么可以做，没什么可以给，
只想衷心的祝福你，
希望你幸福...


现在为人妻了，
身份上改变了，思想上也需要有所改变吧，
现在才是你们俩人生另一阶段的开始，
以后漫漫长路，真的得互相厮守，
才可以继续下去..
有事没事都可以找我，
帮得上的，我会义不容辞，

还有，现跟你说声抱歉，
没能出席你的婚礼，
我会补偿，
就把“好料”带回来给你咯~



还是同样的祝福
“执子之手，白头偕老”

New Year Reso

2011过去了. 难熬的一年，终于也熬过去...
2012，也未必会有好日子。

前半年有人陪，熬得辛苦也值得，
今年可得好好学习为自己熬，
别再为其他人而去奋斗。
学习犒赏自己，work hard, play hard..

今年的目标是减肥，
是时候把体重降低，
锻炼一下身体，
拉近与健康的距离，
不要再走个几步路就喘气，

今年的希望就是...
能够把旧事淡化，
忘记是不可能的了，
希望把这段情，
埋在心底，
也希望可以，
淡化掉对老妈的不满...
过去就过去，
妈还是妈，
铁一般的事实...

过去没有好好的珍惜身边的人事物，
现在不想再错过了，
金句 ：惜福
不要等到失去了才后悔；
适合的，不一定是最好，
这一课，浪费了一个女生的两年，
太贵重了...
所以，别再让自己再重复，
要等到失去才领悟，
慢拍子的代价沉重得很...

占一占小妹的正面能量，
遇到再大的挫折，
也要坚持到底，
佩服她那对爱情的简单，
连自己的坚持也能放弃，
精神可佳..

酒后吐真言，
虽然有错字，
虽然很幼稚，
可都是心底话，
淡忘的同时，
可以坚持吗？
... ... ...

EX

Ya I am drunk.. Very drunk indeed..
People say tat words of drunkards are unbelieveable..
But do you?

It's the first year I am single since breaking up.. It's the 1st year I've started brand new, on my own feet..

Yeah I still love her... I finished Wall E with tears rolling in my eyes and damn I really miss the time when I watched with her.. But anybody cares? Nobody would... Nobody could feel the paid..
After 4-5 months of healing... It's still happening.. It's karma I know.. What goes around comes around.. I should be looking ahead.. But I kept looking backwards for all the good times.. It's good, since I don have bad memories of hers.. But personally, it sucks to live in this environment when you think you are moving forward, all you are doing is just recalling the past to your brain..

New year, new reso, I must start looking forward.. Even though it hurts every time I try to recall, it'd remind me not to repeat mistakes I made.. 前事不忘，后事之师..
Never forget my mistakes.. Luckily I only remember her good things, so that I will have good memories of hers.. I will let fate decide this time, as it's seems too impossible...
Wish her happy life wit her life in her current life...
Anything bad, let me bear, for I'd would bear all the unhappiness in her life.. It's dumb but nobody asked you to love your ex...

Fairy Tales

Just finished Shrek series lately... Cartoons and Animations, they just one of my favourites.. I didn't get to watch them in the cinema, so I just download all of them and watch one by one during this lonely Christmas.. Seeing the progress of a green Ogre embarked on journey all the way to raising his children.. It's just so similar to our life no? Just that the last episode seems so similar to what I have encountered.. The linkage may not be obvious but I just feel it so deeply..

He gave up his good life when he signed the deal.. Hoping to have some changes in his life.. Well basically I did the same thing.. I was hoping to have some changes in life since both of us were not heading the same way.. We both regretted a decision which has affected the rest of our lives.. The difference is that he's able to rectify the problem and I am not.. I will never be able to undo the damage.. There's just no happily ever after in real life.. There will be more ups and downs coming, just bracing oneself to face it.. Luckily we both learnt our lessons.. The costs is just too high, that I have never able to pay them...

As days go by, I'll try to look back for some of all time favourite.. Toy Story, Pocahontas, Finding Nemo, Happy Feet... I just love them and miss them...
It's not the fairy tales which fulfil my desire, but the positive lessons behind the all those fairy tales.. Fairy tales may not exist in reality, but this doesn't mean that we should stop hoping..

冬至快乐

Suddenly I recall her singing this song before, as she's following the rhythm from the radio in my car... I can recall the singing, the voice... 任时光匆匆流去，我只在乎你...



Just part of good old memories..
Hope everyone enjoys 汤圆 like I do..
It's not my favourite dessert, but it carries a deep meaning of reunion..

All well ends well.. Brush teeth gently to reduce chances of gum bleeding..

Worthless Fool

It should end by now.. It should be a glamorous banquet, with a pair of lovely couple set to converge their paths, devoting their precious to each other.. Till death do them apart..Unfortunately I am not there to witness the ceremony.. I can only wish them through the phone..

But I am still glad.. Glad that she's there.. Glad that those who were supposed to be there are all there.. Glad that she's willing to foster back the family ties.. Hope she's continuing that.. I think I have just shorten my life by 5 years, and it's all worth it... Call me an idiot, for having such thought.. I know any sacrifice I make will not be known or appreciated, and too late for that.. All I hope is that she can live well, knowing that those who love her really care for her... I'd also wish that her health condition improves, with gastric staying far far away from her.. Wish her to be happy with him, hoping that he will treasure her well,, as I know I don't deserve her..

I have tried to search for the infoseum.. Apparently it's a mission impossible since at least 35 pax are needed for the visit and it's only open for tour visits... I have absolutely no idea on how to find that amount of people who would be interested for such visit.. Feel so useless, like a loser who just give up anything when facing with obstacle.. At least I know I have done a good deed if I were able to give up some of my life in order to change one's life... I knew I've sacrificed for a purpose.. Not a worthless fool