Feelings for a sweater

It's an unusual rain in the morning... I'm still wondering if my sweater is worn, or just being placed, as 'retired'. Anyway it's value might decrease soon...

It's not an expensive sweater, if not mistaken didn't even cost my mom more than 100 bucks to get it. I love this sweater... Love the colour, love the design, and it's my favorite sweater of all time... But I don't wear it everyday, not in Malaysia at least... So rather saying that I wear my sweater, it's better to say it as I like my sweater... Well what use of it when you just like a piece of clothes without wearing it? It's the reason why I passed it to someone who needs it even more... Temporarily the value increased as the frequency being worn increased. But it's about time that it detiorates and be returned to me, who doesn't know how to appreciate the sweater as I don't wear it all the time...

Is it only cold when you need sweater? I begin to think... It's a simple question, but I have no answer... Well even my lecturer told me that most difficult answers come from the simplest questions... He's damn right... Does it mean that I'll only miss the sweater when I'm feeling cold? What seems to be so easily in others' eyes suddenly become so difficult to answer... If I say yes, am I appreciating what the sweater has done? If I say no, am I sane enough to wear even when I'm feeling hot? Maybe passing to the correct person the sweater will find its value. I appreciate this sweater of mine what it's done to keep me from cold... I have a feeling that I don't deserve this sweater as I only use it during cold time, as if I will use it only if it's necessary... Have you ever thought of how the sweater feels? Done its duty, but left in the closet during good times, and only being used during cold times... Of course I'm just being silly as sweater does not feel... But if it did? Do you think that what you're doing to the sweater is correct?

There're million of questions in my head... People may find that I think too much by writing this post... In fact they're right... I am thinking too much... Worry bout everything... Worry bout how a sweater would feel if it's alive... I feel that passing it to the correct person not only increases its value, but the feel of love is there as every bit part of love on the sweater is felt when being worn. A sweater following me would never enjoy that much love, not only because I only have the so call 'love', but also there's no future to be seen in me... I have the sweater, but if it takes that much of love to deserve it, then I don't earn it... I always try to make myself less dependent on the sweater, even during some cold times, so that I could live on without it... But I forgot is that the sweater has lost its purpose in my process of becoming independent... I'm sure the sweater will sound something like 'Where do I fit into your life?' if it's alive...

I think that I should understand the sweater more... The more I wear it, the more I find the love onto this big warm outfit... There could be a day I get so used to it that i won't take my sweater out... During that time I know it's the love for the sweater which keeps me on, not just solely that I couldn't live on without the sweater... The difference of the 2 lines is that one is "I love my sweater because I need the sweater"; the other being " I need sweater because I love the sweater"... I'm definitely the latter... It's not easy to understand even for myself why I choose the latter, but surely I don't choose it for fun... If it makes me vulnerable, if it makes me dependend on the sweater... There's no regret as I've made my choice, not this sweater, not other T-Shirts, it's this brown sweater... With the exception that the sweater has found its true owner, someone who could even appreciate even more...

Only by wearing it the only I will understand how a sweater feels, and how to treasure it well... If I have the capability and the chance