一万年

Somehow I was reminded that it's been a year since I last got myself into relationship..
It's been a year with full of ups and downs.. Went to the lowest point of my life, but I bounced back like a ball.. Been very high for the past 300+ days, and it's normalising again..

Today I watched back an old movie shown. Somehow I wished I would've watched this a year ago..If I'd watched it at that moment perhaps none of this would have happened.. I would still be an engaged man.. Thinking too much again..

Just another one of those regrets in life.. It's the road not taken..

The day I declare myself free from the past

Yes indeed.. So proud to be saying it now..
With the last bond cut.. Now It's officially over.. No string attached any longer..
No more unknown text message disturbance, no more complaining about my mom...
A peace of mind in the end..

I deserve this credit. From a fallen shadow of myself till I rise from the ashes like a phoenix, I have encountered bittersweet of life.. Perhaps misjudged by others, it's the result which came out as desired... Me..
It may sound self-centered, but there is no one else who cares for myself but me..

A personal achievement, at least... For me who in eyes of some is a sore loser..

Phase 2

Now comes the phase 2 - The Maintenance..

This is perhaps the hardest stage..
Proper maintenance is costly and time consuming, given that there is not much time and income for me to do maintenance..

Love my new specs, look great.. Worth every penny so far.. Hope that it does wat it say.. UV protection especially for us who face the monitor all day long..

Insurance - sign it today.. Got the same plan as EX, but diff agent.. The package is good, considering the premium paid vs the coverage.. May need to fork out more money soon.. But as least my family is assured...

I've got more plans to initialize.. But gotta make sure I can maintain the current lifestyle first.. This is what I call freedom.. Pristine undoubtedly.. Enjoying every moment I can... before I start tying knots again...

Phase 1

Painful week..
This is my initialisation stage..

It's not just the physical pain, but also pain in my wallet..
But it's the start, it's the inception.. It's the beginning of things..

It has got to come out.. And finally it's removed.. Been haunting me for a couple of days.. Gonna suffer for a few days more.. But I am happy for it to be gone.. I will take good care of the rest next time..

Almost burnt a hole in pocket after getting a new pair of specs..
Expensive but hopefully it pays off well.. Will use it for routine work..
Eyes getting tired easily as days go by.. Facing the computer during work time,
facing the computer after reaching home.. I need to 'wash' my eyes more often to rejuvenate them better.. Short skirt, low cut.. I mean eyemo and greenstuff..

Last but not least, hair cut.. A change of personnel..
The outcome is just different, truly different.. Something he couldn't have done it..
Maybe he's just too used to me.. A change would be good..

Far Far Away

2nd time in 2 weeks having sleep problem..
And I just can't get this 'fairy tale' out of my head

Randomness

It's another tired yet sleepless night..
It's just hard to sleep at this weather - dry and still air fill the room..
And then your brain starts wandering here and there, with all sorts of random thoughts going on and on..

The trip has got me thinking..
All the what ifs..
Seeing and comparing how others rally and I stall myself here..
What if I went there straight for my first job?
What if I manage to cruise through the interviews and accepted of envies?

Somehow I envy them..
Each of them has a good career..
A stewardess with a bright future and all the savings enough to live for the next 10 years..
A banker who sacrificed his health for what he is today and getting fat pay with a well-known bank..
Another banker who job-hops abit and finally ended up at a position higher than me..
All have done these at a much younger age..

Best thing I've done so far.. Telling myself that though I am at a slower pace, I have had different taste of life.. I choose this road who make up to who I am today, now.. I will continue to do so to forge my own future.. This motivates me to keep myself going, and of course not to envy others..

Don't give up just yet.. I have been given a direction and so are you. You might be in a bottleneck and slower than the rest but I was at your position once and I know how it feels..

Remember what he said.. In the end it's still up to you if you've taken the chance to triumph, or you are just sitting ducks.. Don't take your passiveness for granted just because he said so.. It's for us to change and improve ourselves..

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to you.
Wish you a good life..

Good Riddance~