More Thoughts

Yesterday was the day she left me, after clear packing of her stuff. After 2 years of relationship, this is the time I realise I've lost touch of so many things. Usher once sang "It's the simple thing in life we forget". Perhaps I really lost it so badly that mending the relationship seems too far to be true. Love is simple, love is great. But as your love grows, many obstacles are stirred into your love and these are the times when love is challenge. I should have let love in the simplest form.

I tried, I really tried to patch things up. But I really lost my all of my confidence. I heard a stern voice over the phone saying that it wouldn't work. I can also remember how the last guy annoyed people as the decision was clear cut. I don't know what am I doing and what should I do to get her back. I really don't know.

Been taking pills to help me asleep. It solves the physical part of exhaustion. But the heart pain is going strong. Everywhere I go I can see memories of us together. Happy or sad, lovely or ugly. So bad that I had to repaint my room to help me forget about her. Fair enough the reminiscence is not as strong now.

Last night we were at genting. the moment I got down from the car, I realise that I had no sweater. I was feeling extra cold especially when my body is still weak. This time I really recalled every moment we used to have there. The brown sweater she wore, the heat and friction of 2 person walking side by side. All those things came back to me. I still remembered how I used to tell her tat I don't need any sweater cuz I got her.

I want to improve. I want to do better. I want to control my temper, I want to communicate properly. I want to hug and kiss her. I want to be with her. Most importantly I want to say is "I am so sorry and I really really love her".