A War

I feel I've started a war - A time war.. I don't want this but I just did it..

It's like I'm the soldier on the battlefield, moving forward to the enemy zone. Suddenly there's an incoming bomb where I got bombed away, wounded. I could feel I'm directionless as I get up from the bombing, not knowing which side I am facing.. Am I facing my home side? Or am I facing the other side?

When I found my momentum of moving forward again, I realise I'm wounded. I don't care if I'm badly wounded. So without caring much for my injuries, I moved even faster to get close to the enemy, tend to hurt the enemy's weak spots. I hope by hurting the weak spots of the enemy, the war will stop. I would rather have a huge war and it ends once and for all than to have time war depleting all the resources. In a huge war, I might get injured, I might even die, but better than continuation of wars all over where I suffer from wounds here and there. I might lose a leg and yet going back to war zone when the enemy attacks. These wounds will heal but scars remain which always remind you to hate your rival more and more. In your mind you're filled with memory of the enemy hurting you and consequently all you want to do is hurt them back.

Upon closing the enemy, I find out that the enemy is no enemy after all. It's a little girl, who needs some good hugs and someone who could pamper her a little more. She bites me and the pain is only 1% of the excruciating pain I suffered before. It just happened that she slipped and let go of the bomb. She's not even suppose to be here. I took it as a taunting action by the rival. I recalled that I was shooting blindly towards her and it made her cry and fear. She's also having some wounds over her body.

What have I done? I started the war on my own by not thinking further. In my mind I was thinking of killing the enemy who hurt me. But coming to this circumstance, I start to think if I should hurt 'her'. A certain thing is that her wounds will recover too and she'll remember who gave her those scars forever. My mindset is that she'll seek revenge whenever possible in the near future. Thus I fear too, fear she's coming to hurt me as she grows, I wanted to leave the battlefield, leaving her vulnerable with her wounds. I thought she'd be OK on her own. Coming towards the end of this war, the bomb which blew was actually an action of my own. I left the bomb there and I got blew by my own bomb. The little girl just so happened to played with the bomb I left, giving a false alarm to myself that there are enemies. The mindset of protecting my country, myself clouded my thinking as to fear enemy approaching.

So I'm wounded, scarred, exhausted, and my resources are depleted.. I got nothing out of the incident except those scars which I 'assumed' the enemy left me. Fark that but what about the little girl? What would be on her mind? Fear? Irritated? Hatred? And full of memories of the war which happened? There's nothing I could do to comfort her, as the damage is done, and it's done severely. I sincerely apologise to her, trying my best not to wage war anymore. She's crying, begging me not to do this to her anymore.

I believe she'll hate me forever. I'd rather she do that. Kill me if she wants to. This is what I owe her, a form of repayment towards the pain I've caused, and the scars which haunt her forever. Then I'll owe her nothing...