Just drank a can of something to numb me... Taken the extra strong so that it makes me sober...
Apparently I have alot to ask now...
Can I just stop being sad?
Can I just stop being myself?
Can I just turn back time like how Aqua sang that song?
Can I just some one to feel me now?
Can I just stop being sad, stop being like this piece of shit for now and concentrate on my life?
Can I just forget about all that happened and brainwashed the part where needle pains me?
Can I just cut this crap and continue to drink?
Can I just sleep like this never do I have the need to wake up again?
Can I... Can I... Can I...
Can I just stop my heart from beating?
Every beat hurts me in and out...
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Late Night
When the night is dark, people turn sentimental..
After a long hours of activities in the day, it's time where everybody starts to unmask oneself. Starts to look into their own life, where they are, wonder why they are here and questions which may cause lots of anxiety, nervous, and tends to bring the emotions down..
Me, being sleepless here at 4am, is nonetheless.. It's been really ages since the last time I've written a long post here. Maybe I have no more readers, but it's fine. Just finding a channel to express myself through writing out rather than conversation...
It's a good time for me to think about the questions above at times like these. It may bring me down a little but I kinda enjoy this. It's the only time where your surrounding is quiet, well at least only the air-cond is giving out some noises while I write this. The environment is calm, almost too calm for one to think of the superstitious ones. But it's quiet, and it eases my mind of stress I go through everyday. The stillness, can give my brain a much needed focus to express out my words, without being disrupted. I am now able to write out my feelings, thoughts better as I won't receive calls, msn nudges, etc.
The feelings for late nights are just complicated. Many times they were not beautiful as described in the box. People still believe that stars are ancestors gazing upon them, that moon has its dwellers of a lady, a rabbit and a lumberjack. These beliefs counter off certain souls' fear to the long, cold, lonely nights. And the unseen darkness up ahead as they wander. You need light source by now; a hero, or perhaps just someone with his torch in his/her hand, to guide you out. I am no hero, but I know that I cannot rely on that hero to approach me. I seek and make my own light source. The rite of passage has taught me that "No one in this world can't survive without another person". Harsh yet hard felt...
After a long hours of activities in the day, it's time where everybody starts to unmask oneself. Starts to look into their own life, where they are, wonder why they are here and questions which may cause lots of anxiety, nervous, and tends to bring the emotions down..
Me, being sleepless here at 4am, is nonetheless.. It's been really ages since the last time I've written a long post here. Maybe I have no more readers, but it's fine. Just finding a channel to express myself through writing out rather than conversation...
It's a good time for me to think about the questions above at times like these. It may bring me down a little but I kinda enjoy this. It's the only time where your surrounding is quiet, well at least only the air-cond is giving out some noises while I write this. The environment is calm, almost too calm for one to think of the superstitious ones. But it's quiet, and it eases my mind of stress I go through everyday. The stillness, can give my brain a much needed focus to express out my words, without being disrupted. I am now able to write out my feelings, thoughts better as I won't receive calls, msn nudges, etc.
The feelings for late nights are just complicated. Many times they were not beautiful as described in the box. People still believe that stars are ancestors gazing upon them, that moon has its dwellers of a lady, a rabbit and a lumberjack. These beliefs counter off certain souls' fear to the long, cold, lonely nights. And the unseen darkness up ahead as they wander. You need light source by now; a hero, or perhaps just someone with his torch in his/her hand, to guide you out. I am no hero, but I know that I cannot rely on that hero to approach me. I seek and make my own light source. The rite of passage has taught me that "No one in this world can't survive without another person". Harsh yet hard felt...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Ne-Yo - Year Of The Gentleman
01 . Closer
02 . Nobody
03 . Single
04 . Mad
05 . Miss Independent
06 . Why Does She Stay
07 . Fade Into The Background*
08 . So You Can Cry
09 . Part Of The List
10 . Back To What You Know
11 . Lie To Me
12 . Stop This World
I bought this album quite some time ago. It's really a good album to sooth emotions or lift up spirits..
Track No.7 is really a sad song with good beat.
Track No.1 - fast beat, gets me going and going - closer and closer!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Sigh, Blog, Sleep
Blogging is my best partner when I have no one else to turn to. I admit that I always write sad things here.. Just thought of expressing all those negative emotions out. Good ones are kept at heart and remembered as time goes, while bad ones stop the moment the blogs are posted. I could hardly recall why I wrote the said posts in later days, still it gave me some good laughs at my past..
Well it's not another smooth day for me. Many things came out unexpected, or not as I expected them to be.. Order was not in place.. Sigh
I'll be OK after this post. I'll forget most of the unwanted memories today, after a good sleep.
Well it's not another smooth day for me. Many things came out unexpected, or not as I expected them to be.. Order was not in place.. Sigh
I'll be OK after this post. I'll forget most of the unwanted memories today, after a good sleep.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
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